Witchcraft (1964)

            “After she was condemned they took her out and buried her alive…”  Good evening ghosts and ghouls, and welcome to Wicked Wednesday (a bit late, but better late than never I always say).  I only had time to review one film this evening, but it was pretty wicked! Witchcraft, directed in 1964 by Don Sharp, is a witchy tale of disruption and revenge.  This is a black and white film, and I simply adore black and white for horror – it gives the medium a darker…eerier feel than those in color do.  This film is no exception, with the majority of the beginning of the film shot in a graveyard with curling fog and creepy tunes.  The premise of the film is that an English town is ‘clearing’ a local graveyard by bulldozer, and they disturb the grave of an old witch (Vanessa Whitlock, portrayed by Yvette Rees), who then wrecks havoc on the town.

            The witch begins by utilizing a voodoo doll (called a ‘devil doll’ in this flick) to drown Mr. Lanier.  Another doll is found by the townspeople and there’s much discussion about whether or not it is witchcraft and if such a thing even exists.  She then appears in Helen Lanier’s bedroom at night, pulling at her covers.  It appears she attempted to kill Helen as well, only Helen woke up and screamed before anything else happened.  Another voodoo poppet appears to be attached to the back of her car as well, which causes her to think she’s driving normally as she drives herself right off of a cliff.  I rather enjoyed this particular use of voodoo dolls; it was original conceptually and was filmed well.  When Bill Lanier almost drives off the same cliff, he finally begins to realize that something supernatural might be going on (he was on the side of skeptic to begin with).  Finally, viewers find that this isn’t just the one witch but an entire coven of witches that are working their magic underneath the Lanier house.   

            Now I cannot say this film has the best cinematography I’ve ever seen for black and white films, but it isn’t by far the worst.  Some of the lighting is done well and some of it isn’t.  I will say that it’s definitely not a Hitchcock-level film.  The soundtrack is also not extremely great, though I do enjoy it in some parts.  And when they choose to forego the music in favor of clocks ticking and church bells chiming, those sounds aide in the ambiance and overall tone of the film – making up for any cheese that might be going on in the soundtrack.  Vanessa Whitlock never actually makes a sound throughout the entire film, she just walks creepily toward people, and makes hand gestures.  This is reminiscent of silent film, where most of the acting was done with the eyes (facial expressions) and the body.  It’s done well in this movie for the most part, though some of is it boarder-line cheesetastic.

It is pretty impressive to see blonde Amy challenge the witch and burn her alive (as apparently she should have been 300 years prior, instead of buried alive).  The house burns to the ground, of corpse, and Amy fails to make it out alive.  There was actually a decent Body Count in this film with five total deaths (I didn’t expect so many from a 1960s film).  Number of killers? Two.  Boob Count? Zero. Cheap Thrills? None. Actual Chills? None.  Raven’s Scream Meter Says: 2.5 out of 5 Screams.  Was decently made for an older film, but needed a little pizzazz when it comes to the acting.  Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed the review, and please feel free to discuss below!  Xx ~ Raven    

Haunter (2013)

            Good evening, fiends!  Last movie up for review on this fine Teen Scream Tuesday is Haunter (2013), directed by Vincenzo Natali.  This film begins with viewers meeting Lisa, a girl who appears to be living the same exact day over and over again (similar to Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day, if you will).  Her family is on the same repetitive cycle with her, only they seem completely oblivious to it.  She is, as she calls it, ‘awake,’ in that she is the only one of the family aware that she is dead.  As the movie continues the creaks and other strange sounds in her home appear to be both other dead people as well as the living that are currently occupying her home.  I have to say I really dig the way this film is shot from the perspective of a dead person that is ‘haunted’ by the living.  We are used to seeing ghosts irritated by the presence of the living, but never haunted by their presence quite in this way.  Lisa notices there is another presence in the house, a malicious presence that is both male and appears to be the cause of Lisa’s death, though she isn’t sure how he is connected with them.  When Lisa attempts to contact the living people in the home to warn them of the presence and tell them to get out of the house, the presence appears to her as a man and tells her to stay away from the living and to not shake things up or she will suffer the consequences. 

            Another thing I noticed I fancied right off the top with this movie is the cinematography.  The director and crew really came together and this movie is beautifully shot from start to finish.  The acting was decent as well, and the characters were mostly believable. Most of the actual horror was done with CGI (which as loyal readers I’m sure you know I’m not a huge fan of), so it was not perhaps the most innovative when it came to the effects, but it still managed to be a bit spooky from time to time.  The CGI was tolerable because of the other aspects of the film that already tickled my sensibilities, so I rolled with it.  I honestly cannot tell you anything about the score, aside from that it must be quite un-memorable because I cannot remember a thing about it other than I’m sure it was there in the background somewhere. 

            The Body Count was somewhat difficult in this film, since there were quite a lot of dead girls buried in that home prior to the family of four that we know for sure is dead.  But for lack of a better count, I’ll say 5 plus (it appeared the killer had been burying ‘missing’ girls in the basement for something around two decades).  Number of Killers?  Hard to say, but I will say at least 2.  Boob Count? Zero. Cheap Thrills?  One.  Actual Chills? A couple.  Raven’s Scream Meter Says: 3.5 out of 5 Screams.  This one grabbed me from start to finish, and even though I had to get past the CGI I felt like it was worth it.  I greatly appreciate your readership, and hope you thoroughly enjoyed the review!  Please feel free to comment/discuss below.  Xx ~ Raven   

Ring of Curse (2011)

            “The feelings of death make me understand more about it.”  Next up for our Teen Scream Tuesday is Gomennasai or Ring of Curse, directed in 2011 by Mari Asato.  The flick begins with three typically adorable Japanese girls, sitting in front of the camera and talking about the making of the rest of the film (as though it is based on a true story).  After their short introduction, the film ‘really’ begins.  Viewers are introduced to Yuka Hidaka and her classmates, including one Hinako Kurohane, who is regarded as one of the best writers in school because she won a contest the year prior.  What the kids don’t know, is that Ms. Kurohane can curse people through her writing…so as they pick on her and bully her, they unwittingly sign their own death warrants.  Fun fact:  Gomennasai translates as “I’m sorry,” in English. 

            The film begins from Yuka’s perspective and then switches to the diary of Ms. Kurohane, then back to Yuka for the denouement.  In Yuka’s original account, Hinako appears to be simply disturbed/crazy.  But when viewers see that the girl is fighting a malignant lymphocyte tumor, and how her family disregards her very existence, one can see why the sociopathic behavior developed.  It becomes hard to not sympathize with Hinako at this point, as she is going through serious pain both literally and figuratively, and has been given a very early death sentence due to the cancer.  She was in a desperate place.  Yuka realizes this as well in reading Hinako’s diary (sent to her prior to her death, as Hinako knew she would be dying).  But Yuka is still young, and still alive, and so she spreads the curse further unintentionally and inadvertently subjects herself to its wrath. 

            I felt the deep breathing in place of a score in parts of this film was very effective in setting the tone of the film, and often makes one think of one’s own breath and breathing (perhaps even providing the feeling of being short of breath).  The sequence of Hinako’s sister when she is out of breath for a month and scratching at her throat is also particularly chilling, and is probably the most gruesome thing in the movie’s entirety.  I wanted the girl to suffer, though, after the cruel things she said to her sister about her illness – and I’m betting most audiences probably feel this way.  I also dig that Hinako prefers to write her curses in her own blood (apparently even from early childhood), and that she actually fills a pen with blood and writes with it.  That was morbid and awesome.  The cinematography was decent as well throughout the film, and I enjoyed the different perspectives tying the storyline together.   

Though this film has a decent Body Count, clocking in at eight deaths total, there isn’t any gore to speak of.  This film is creepy in subtle ways, not in-your-face gore.  The Number of Killers completely depends on if you consider the jumper to also be a killer (his own killer).  In that case there are two.  Boob Count?  None to speak of, not even any kissing.  Cheap Thrills?  Zero.  Actual Chills?  One.  Raven’s Scream Meter says:  3 out of 5 Screams.  It is a subtitled film, and I generally prefer subtitled to dubbed, but I figured my fiends would want to be aware prior to popping it on for an afternoon of mindless horror (it becomes less mindless when one has to read).  Not as jump-out-of-your-skin as many Asian horror films, but still ranks as pretty great in my book due to its plotline and subject matter.  I hope you enjoyed the review, and please feel free to leave comments or begin dialogue below.  Thanks for reading! Xx ~ Raven   

Silent House (2011)

            Good evening fiends, it’s Teen Scream Tuesday!  We have some great flicks on the docket today, beginning with Silent House (2011), directed by Chris Kentis and Laura Lau.  The movie begins with protagonist Sarah (portrayed by Elizabeth Olsen) and her family, who are renovating their lake house before it is sold.  The movie doesn’t actually give you more than this before suddenly the girl’s family is no where to be found and she is being followed around the house by a mysterious male figure.  All the doors and windows are locked/boarded tight, and she’s unable to find her way out of the house.  She clearly feels trapped and this person, whom neither she nor the audience knows, is after her. 

            Truth be told, this movie doesn’t make a whole lot of sense for the first 30/40 minutes when this strange man is after her and we don’t know who he is or what his motive is, and the uncle leaving and the father getting hurt all at the same time before this maniac appears is pretty convenient.  But things become clearer as Sarah begins to realize that her father and uncle molested her when she was little, and the man that is ‘after her’ is part of her repressed memories of the event.  Sarah exacts her revenge on her father while her uncle watches, then pleads for his life.  The only death in the entire film is a bludgeoning by sledgehammer, which is pretty cool but wasn’t particularly gruesome.  The cringe-worthy elements of this film were the molestation (which isn’t shown, only alluded to) and the feeling of being trapped in the house during the initial guy-is-after-me-for-no-reason sequence. 

            The music in this one was mediocre, as was the cinematography.  It had all the elements I don’t care for (shaky camera, fuzzy camera, etc), though it is rare in that it attempts to portray itself as one continuous shot a la Hitchcock’s Rope.  This is no where near the quality of Hitch’s work, though I will give the directors and cameramen kudos for trying, and it is known that the movie was not shot all in one take (so that sort of removes the credibility, in my humble opinion).  I can’t say I was particularly taken with Elizabeth Olsen’s performance as Sarah either.  She wasn’t horrible but she just didn’t quite do it for me as a scream queen.  I also had issues with the plot in some parts…for example why on earth would her uncle, after seeing her show up bloody and crying and saying her dad was hurt, take her back to the house to ‘help’ without calling some sort of emergency response?  That just simply doesn’t make sense. 

            As I mentioned before, this movie has a wickedly low Body Count of just one.  That’s not quite enough blood for me!  Number of Killers?  One.  Boob Count?  None, but since this movie dealt with molestation and pedophiliac behavior, I’m quite glad for the lack.  Cheap Thrills?  Two.  Actual Chills?  Two.  Raven’s Scream Meter Says:  2.5 out of 5 Screams.  Decent for a teen-scream, but definitely won’t go down in the books as a horror ‘classic.’   I hope you fiends enjoyed the review, feel free to leave comments below!  And thanks, as always, for reading.  Xx ~ Raven

Stitches (2012)

            Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me.  Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me.  Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me.  Stitches, the horror comedy directed in 2012 by Conor McMahon, begins in typical horror fashion…ok maybe not.  It begins with a clown (in makeup, even) screwing some girl in a trailer while she yells expletives.  He realizes he’s late, tosses the wench aside, and runs to a young boy’s birthday party to perform as the clown.  While he is there, the kids are particularly nasty to him and they wind up accidentally killing the clown…which is a very bloody (but funny gory, not scary gory).  Six years after the incident, Tom (who is more a teen now instead of a child) is on anti-anxiety medication, and seeing clown faces in his breakfast platters.  In other words, he’s kind of a mess when we catch back up with him.

            The rest of the film is based on revenge, with the clown coming back to seek it on the bratty kids that killed him during the party six years ago.  This film is sort of an American Pie meets It, which is an unlikely combination.  No matter how silly the gore in this, I will never be a huge fan of clowns.  Anyway, the kid’s mom is out of town for his birthday weekend and, of corpse, he tries to throw a party with three people and winds up with an e-vite sent to the entire school.  Stitches arrives as the party is heating up, and begins taking out every single one of the kids that were at the party.  Most of the kills during the party are not very original, though many of them are deliciously gory (and still funny).  The party ends as people begin realizing the killer clown talk is for real.  Tom figures out that if they break Stitches’ egg, they may free his spirit and he might disappear.  They race time and the clown to the graveyard where the clown and his egg are buried. 

            The cinematography is done nicely, the soundtrack is decent (though not exactly memorable), and the acting is fair.  I enjoy the British so the thick accents and people calling each other crass things throughout the movie brought a smile to my face.  After much shenanigans, threats, and running around, Tom’s theory proves to be valid and the clown is no more.  The only thing (besides that this was a comedy when I would have preferred this be a straight up slasher clown film) that bugged me about the film was when the clown kills the cat.  The cat?  Really?  What for?  Anywho, it was a fun-filled and funny romp with jokes galore, a real scream for you clown-lovers out there.  Number of deaths?  I counted five in total.  Number of Killers?  One.  Boob count? .5, you only see one, not even a full set, so I don’t count this as a full flash.  Cheap thrills? None.  Actual chills? None.  This is much more a comedy than it is a horror film.  Raven’s Scream Meter says 2.5 out of 5 Screams.  Silly and sardonic, the film is an unlikely mix of horror and comedy that may leave you in stitches.  I hope you enjoyed the review, and as always thank you for reading!  Xx ~ Raven

The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

            Our second flick for Maniac Monday is The Cabin in the Woods, directed by Drew Goddard in 2012.  I have heard many great things about this film and yet had not bothered to give it a shot until now, and I have to say that I was really stoked on it within the first five minutes because of all the great actors and actresses I recognized immediately.  My recognition of a few of them made a hell of a lot more sense when I realized that Joss Whedon wrote some of the script for this film, as two of the actors I recognized immediately were from his short-lived but awesome show Dollhouse.

            Aside from my obvious admiration of the cast, that also includes actors from Six Feet Under and Billy Madison, the movie kicks off most interestingly with a group of kids going on vacation to…you guessed it…a cabin in the woods.  One of the first things they notice about the house is that one of the mirrors is a two-way mirror that allows one room to see into the other, much like a police investigation mirror.  We also discover that there is a business watching these kids in the cabin, and they are setting them up for a very frightening time, even betting on what evil the kids in the house will release (and, we find, this isn’t the only terror show they are watching).  I will be honest, when the chick makes out with the taxidermy wolf head, I’m not only bored but I’m also confused as to how that moves the plot forward in any way.

            After the small peep show, the gore begins.  We already knew that zombies were on their way to the cabin, since one of the idiot teens read some Latin passages aloud (like this is ever a good thing when you and friends find a creepy book in a cabin in the middle of nowhere), and the zombies begin attacking in earnest at this point.  Compared with my last manic flick, the cinematography in this is absolutely stunning and the acting is much more convincing.  I about died laughing (pun intended) when the zombie threw the girl’s decapitated head at her friend.  The kids get out of the cabin and into the RV after a couple of not-so-gory deaths, and at the same time the Japanese cameras they were watching are also in the process of defeating the evil they are supposed to be consumed by.  Just as viewers think the kids escape in the RV, the still-unnamed company makes the only way out (a tunnel) collapse.  One of the survivors attempts to jump the blown tunnel on a bike, but there is clearly some kind of grid that he literally runs into seemingly in the middle of thin air. 

            Much of the gore in this fright fest is either somewhat lacking, or done with CGI, so I can’t say it’s one of my favorites because of this.  The plot is also lacking, with the premise being that the ‘company’ works for evil gods who will destroy the world if they do not get the sacrifices they are supposedly satiated by.  They don’t, and the world ends, so literally EVERYONE dies in this film (which is admittedly cool).  Talk about your unhappy endings.  There is a slight nod to the great Clive Barker I noticed, with the ‘demon’ that has saw blades through his pale, bald head, and who is called by a round toy trinket (hello Hellraiser!).  I will also say that the NIN playing at the end of the movie definitely punctuated the end of the world, so that was well done.  Body Count?  Everyone on Earth.  Number of Killers?  Too many to count.  Boob Count? One.  Cheap Thrills?  One.  Actual spooks endured?  None.  Raven’s Scream Meter says 3 out of 5 Screams.  Though there is plenty of violent content, I would have appreciated more innovative gore and less CGI.  Still will be a movie gracing the shelves of my horror collection!  I hope you enjoyed your second review for this Maniac Monday, and thanks again for reading! Xx ~ Raven

Evidence (2013)

            “To a serial killer, murder is an art.”  Good morning fiends, and welcome to Maniac Monday!  The first review in store for you today is on the film Evidence, directed by Scott Walker in 2013.  The premise of the story is that there are a pile of dead bodies discovered in the desert in Nevada, and the only clues found at the crime scene include a welder’s mask, a couple of cell phones, and some video tapes.  Basically, once we gather that the police force are on the job trying to piece together what might have happened, we are watching a movie inside a movie (documentary style)…sort of Cannibal Holocaust meets Blair Witch meets a serial killer. 

            The beginning of the film inside the film is mostly spent on character development.  The characters are somewhat believable, and I was stoked to see Harry Lennix (Dollhouse) as Ben, the bus driver.  Though I have to say that not all the actors are super seasoned in this flick, so don’t expect grammy-winners to appear on screen during its course.  The characters, who are inevitably part of the abandoned gas-station massacre, are all on a trip to Las Vegas.  As more people join them on the bus to Vegas, the camera continues to roll, and the police continue trying to piece together what exactly happened to them.

            When the bus rolls, it completely catches the viewer off-guard, and is done fairly well concerning the way this is filmed.  Admittedly I am not a fan of docu-style movies, particularly ones such as this where the cinematography is all over the place (really shaky and choppy), but I do believe that it makes sense with the context of this film and it works in several areas to build suspense.  But I digress.  The group, miraculously unharmed after the bus is completely demolished, clambers out of the wreck and heads toward a gas station the bus driver had noticed a bit behind them.  The gas station looks as though it is where trucks came to die – everything looks completely abandoned as though no one had been around in some years. 

            When the first person bites the dust, viewers really don’t know what the hell happened to him – he just comes falling out of a room covered in blood and dying.  Suddenly they see someone else out in the truck graveyard, out in the dark, who isn’t part of the Vegas group.  Naturally they freak out and attempt to hide inside an abandoned building…as though that ever has helped anyone in any horror movie…ever.  The next death, however, is brutal as all hell!  After her head is repeatedly bashed into something large and perhaps metal, her limbs are severed from her body by perhaps one of the most fun weapons I’ve seen in horror yet – a blow torch.  Maybe not super innovative, but brutal and straight to the point which I absolutely adore in my maniacs.  She then is burned alive.    

            One of the survivors, a rather insane lady Katrina (portrayed well by Dale Dickey) with a bag full of about a hundred grand that she clutches to her chest while she hangs in the background and occasionally pulls random shenanigans like yelling in people’s faces and such.  Her death is done pretty well, with the killer first slitting her throat and then pulling out her organs while she writhes and screams just a hair off-camera.  Suddenly Ben, whom viewers are led to believe has been left for dead, shows back up and helps the survivors to get away.  The police are also considering the possibility that the driver isn’t who he says he is.  After a brief interview with one of the survivors, the police believe perhaps one of the girl’s boyfriend (who was on the trip as well) is the killer.  I felt that the climax of the film was stretched out a bit long, and there was no real wrap up after the climax, so the film ends on a somewhat weak note.  All in all though, I have to say I appreciated the gore and for the most part the story line as well.

            Definitely a movie worth watching if you enjoy a low-budget slasher flick with a bit of good gore and loads of fire, which you could probably watch with some metal music on and the volume on the TV turned all the way down (and not miss much).  Body Count? Four. Number of killers? It’s a surprise.  Boob count? Zero…this one actually has literally no sexy scenes at all, so you can let your teen watch with you (providing you allow them to watch violent content, that is, as this movie is full of that).  Cheap thrills?  One.  Actual thrills? One.  Raven’s Scream Meter says: 2 out of 5 Screams.  Not terrible for a low-budget film, but also not one of the best horror films I’ve been intrigued to watch.  I hope you enjoyed the review, and thanks for reading! Feel free to comment or begin a dialogue below.  Xx ~ Raven

Devil (2010)

            The final film for this Satanic Sunday is Devil, filmed in 2010 by John Erick Dowdle (produced by M. Night Shyamalan).  I hadn’t heard of this film prior to this review, but apparently a lot of people have – it grossed 33 million at the box office (that’s roughly a 20 million dollar profit!).  The gist is that sometimes the Devil makes people pay for their karma while they are still alive…and it appears to be a repeat pattern known as “The Devil’s Meeting.”  It generally begins with a suicide.  In this story someone plummets off a skyscraper with a rosary clutched in their hands, thus beginning the pattern.  Next, a group of five people are trapped in an elevator and…you guessed it…one of them is the Devil.

            I have to admit that my first thought was that the man in the suit was the Devil, but that thought was quickly dispelled when he was the first to die.  After several suspected Devils bit the dust, though, I began wondering if that really mattered or if they could still be the Devil (in a death disguise).  Detective Bowden is assigned to the case (portrayed by Chris Messina), and he joins up with the security team for the building as well as with the fire department to try to get the survivors out of the elevator.  There are some intense moments as the people in the elevator try to figure out for themselves who is doing the killing, and the Detective continues to struggle to get them free. 

            The music isn’t the best thing about the movie, but I can’t say I hated it.  I just wasn’t super into it, either.  The cinematography was decent but it’s also fair to say it wasn’t the best filmed movie I’ve ever seen.  The concept was interesting, though, and the suspense of trying to guess who the Devil was kept my interest throughout.  Though I wish Geoffrey Arend had a larger role than he inevitably did.  He was the only actor/tress I recognized and he was gone so quickly.  He would have made a fantastic Devil.  This film sort of reminded me of Jean Paul Sartre’s “No Exit,” with the elevator and the concept of hell being other people (the people in the elevator sort of drive each other insane; they may have just killed each other without the Devil lending a hand).  The killings are all basically kept within the elevator itself, so they really aren’t all that creative or gory.  Sorry, blood brothers, this one’s fairly tame. 

            What do you get when you place a few people with the Devil in an elevator?  A fairly low Body Count, clocking in at only five deaths, one of them being a suicide.  Number of killers?  Three.  Boob Count?  Zero, again this movie lacks even kissing.   Cheap Thrills?  One.  Actual spooks endured? None.  Raven’s Scream Meter says:  3 out of 5 screams.  A decent concept and stimulating plot sequence, but the acting could have potentially been a bit better.  Thanks fiends as always for reading, and feel free to leave comments in the space below!  Xx ~ Raven

The Ninth Gate (1999)

            Next up for your Satanic Sunday, we have The Ninth Gate, directed in 1999 by Roman Polanski.  I can’t lie, watching a Christopher Walken movie then a Johnny Depp movie is never a big issue with this ghoul.  This movie is and has already been a favorite of mine, considering the way the movie focuses on and reveals the Devil (mostly through a focus on books, which I love).  The fact that Mr. Depp is the protagonist doesn’t hurt one iota.  But I digress.

            The premise of this flick is that JD’s character (Mr. Corseau) is a book buyer/seller.  He is hired by one Boris Balkan to authenticate a rare book about the Devil.  There are three known copies on earth, and Mr. Balkan believes his to be a fake and wants Mr. Corseau to travel to find the other books and check each against his copy to discover any dissimilar marks or text.  Corseau likes money, and this client is offering a sum he cannot refuse, regardless of his seeming distaste for the subject matter.  He takes on the job and begins researching the book.  He attempts to seek information about the book in various ways, and notices immediately that he is being followed by a smoking man (hired by Mrs. Tolfer to retrieve the book).  He also finds himself running into the same woman over and over…both in the States as well as in other countries.  She seems to lead/protect Corseau throughout his journey. 

            As Corseau is able to examine the other copies of the books, he notices that the engravings in the books are different, some of them signed by a ‘mysterious’ LCF.  It didn’t take him long to discover what those initials stand for.  The soundtrack to the movie is just as glorious as the cinematography, though I’d have to say most of the death scenes were pretty lame sauce (with the exception of Balkan burning himself alive…that was just brilliant).  Emmanuelle Sergner was probably the weakest link, as “The Girl,” her acting was somewhat atrocious.  This isn’t a gore fest, it definitely has more plot to it than those typically do, and much of the storyline is not just about moving the plot forward but its also about character development.  Corseau goes from a complete non believer to a full-fledged Hell seeker/aficionado. 

            The Body Count was actually decent in this film, with a total of seven (though I’m mildly surprised the number was not nine).  Number of killers?  Three.  Boob Count? One.  Cheap Thrills?  None.  Actual Thrills?  One-ish.  Raven’s Scream Meter says: 4 out of 5 Screams!  Definitely worth a watch if you are into movies about the Devil and the occult, but not if you are looking for a blood bath.  I hope you enjoyed the review, feel free to leave comments if you so desire – and thanks as always for reading!  Xx ~ Raven 

The Prophecy (1995)

            Hello my gore-geous fiends and welcome to Satanic Sunday!  On this most holy days of the week, I feel it is my duty (and right horrorshow) for me to present to you reviews of movies and such about Satan or demonic entities/possession.  I know you all didn’t ask for this, but that’s just the kind of ghoul I am.  First up for today’s reviews, we have Gregory Widen’s 1995 film The Prophecy.  I picked this flick because I generally always find movies with Christopher Walken in them to be particularly entertaining, and I wasn’t let down with his performance here as Gabriel, the Angel of Death. 

            The premise of the flick is that there is a second war in heaven that is not foretold in the current editions of the Bible, where some of the angels are angry because God gave humans souls.  The angels felt that God loved humans more because of this, Gabriel at the top of the ranks of these.  He comes to earth to find an evil soul to use against God in this war, only Samuel gets to the soul before both Gabriel AND Lucifer (Viggo Mortensen) and gives it to a child to hide.  Gabriel wrecks havoc until he finds the soul he seeks, picking up souls that haven’t left this world yet (but are about to) on the way to do his bidding before they die.

 

            This movie isn’t particularly gory and there aren’t a lot of death scenes in it at all, though it does have a few burning bodies, and some torture, so it’s not completely devoid of visuals.  This is more classic good-versus-evil than slasher-style horror, but that is an appropriate theme for a tale that is focused on the belief that God and the Devil are real entities.  There are also some beautiful Native American ritual scenes, which seem fairly authentic and punctuate the film with other cultural and theological points of view.  The score isn’t particularly memorable, though there were a few decent pieces sprinkled in there somewhere.  That being said, the cinematography was solid throughout – no messing about with shaky cameras or out-of-focus shots. 

            I personally really enjoyed watching this movie, though I can’t really call it ‘horror’ per se…perhaps more a theological thriller?  Anywho, it’s at least worth a run through.  A low body count of four deaths, with a rarity here…there were also technically four killers in this movie as well.  I actually don’t think I’ve yet reviewed a film with the same number of deaths as killers, so that’s pretty wicked.  Boob Count? Zero, there wasn’t even any kissing in this movie.  Cheap Thrills?  None.  It took itself a bit more seriously than that.  Real Chills? One or two, mostly from Walken’s performance.  Raven’s Scream Meter Says:  4 out of 5 Screams, but this is definitely less ‘horror’ and more ‘dark heavenly war’ style.  I hope you enjoyed the review!  Feel free to comment below, and of corpse thank you for reading! Xx ~ Raven

Children of the Corn (1984)

           Hello again fiends!  Since I missed Monday and Tuesday (time was spent watching, instead of writing), I figured I’d put a couple out in one night for you all.  Doesn’t that sound like a spectacular spooky surprise?!  I thought so!  This review is going to focus on Fritz Kiersch’s rendition of Stephen King’s Children of the Corn (1984).  Originally a short story published in Penthouse (hmm…maybe some people do actually buy them for the articles, eh?), Children of the Corn is a somewhat fantastical tale of an entire town of children that wind up killing off all of the adults and forming a sort of cult amongst the rows of corn surrounding their town. 

            And that begins my first critique on the film – the plot.  I really don’t find children to be scary, more creepy than scary.  In my humble opinion, it is really far-fetched for a group of kids to literally kill off all the adults in any given town and have no retaliation whatsoever from either more adults or the elder kids.  In the story, they even have children willingly allowing the others to kill them at age 19.  I don’t know anyone that would willingly die like that, and even if one or two did it would be very difficult to get an entire group to fall into step with dying young.  I honestly didn’t think there was a Stephen King out there I couldn’t get behind, but I’d have to say this one is too far-fetched for me to get the creeps from.  That being said, if you as a viewer can get past the inconceivability of this plot, then you may find you enjoy this film.  The cinematography is decent though one can tell that it is an older film.  Still not bad, not bad.  I can’t honestly say I can remember the soundtrack so I am going to say that it wasn’t memorable and leave it at that. 

         The casting, unfortunately, is another downfall of this particular flick.  Courtney Gains as Malachai…I mean I’m all for giving child actors a bit of a break because they are ‘green,’ so to speak, but this kid was not only terrible, he was also obnoxious to look at.  Every time he yelled “Outlander!” I wanted to reach through the screen and shake him…hard. John Franklin as Issac was pretty awful also, but at least he was somewhat intriguing.  Having not read the short story for this prior to watching, I was hoping Isaac WAS the demon, or possessed and immortal, or something cool.  But alas, I was let down on that as well.  The creepiest thing about this movie was “The Blue Man,” a cop that had been crucified by the kids, his rotting skeleton serving as a point in the cornfield as their meeting place.  Otherwise…it’s pretty out there.  The kids all grab sickles and knives to kill the adults…and the adults grab pipes and duller instruments to try to fight back.  The kids all seem to go along with all of this, and yet don’t appear as brainwashed as one might originally think when we first meet them.  All in all, this is one of my least favorite conceptions that King has produced for us.  Anyways, here come the stats:  Number of deaths?  11.  Killers?  This was a tough call…probably thirty or so?  Boobs? 0. Not even anything remotely racy in this one.  Cheap thrills?  0.  Actual spooks endured?  0.  Ravens Scream Meter says: 2 out of 5 Screams.  Has some carnage so I couldn’t give it a one, even if it isn’t my favorite movie to date.  Thanks again for reading and I’ll be posting another review shortly!  xx

The Stand (1994)

       Welcome fiends, to yet another Wednesday.  I haven’t, I promise, been slacking this week – it just happened to take me a few days to actually get through this movie and I really wanted this to be the first film I review this week.  In honor of Ash Wednesday (which, your humble reviewer does not celebrate, but I do respect the observation), today I am bringing you a detailed review of The Stand (1994).  A classic good vs. evil struggle set smack in the heart of North America, based on the novel by the infamous master of horror, Stephen King.  It is an epic tale, and one of my absolute favorite stories King has ever conceived, but the film is exceptionally long and most likely (unless you have a completely free afternoon sometime) you will have to watch this one in more than one sitting.

The synopsis of this flick, in the case you haven’t yet read or watched it, begins with a plague that destroys mankind.  And while one might think that if a ‘superflu’ (as they call it in this film…or “Captain Tripps”)  were to leak in an area at this point in time, that our government would be able to quickly quarantine the area and prevent it from spreading worldwide, we have to admit that this could indeed be the case.  Humans are flawed, and the guard that was supposed to be the last defense for this quarantine became scared and fled the scene with his family, only to travel halfway across the country before slamming his car into a gas station and then dying in the arms of Stu Redman (Gary Sinise).  Stu is a hero from the beginning, as he cuts the lines to the gas just before the car takes them all out – saving everyone in the gas station…and sparing them.  For the time being, that is.  The government quickly follows the trail of this escapee, and travels to Arnette, TX, ready to shut down the town and quarantine anyone who came into contact with him.  Stu and friends get taken to a government facility and are put under close watch.  But just before they are taken, a cop comes into town to tell them what is going on…and lies to the dispatcher over the waves as to his whereabouts, further spreading this already infectious disease and once again showing the weakness of man.  We meet other important characters along the way, including a deaf-mute named Nick Andros, a girl named Franny Goldsmith and her good friend Harold Lauder, a mentally disabled man called Tom Cullen, a slick city-kid crooner named Larry Underwood and many…many more.  This is quite the epic tale, and most characters that we come to know as surviving this major plague have integral parts in the outcome of the final battle.  The survivors begin having very vivid dreams, one is of an elderly African American woman named Abigail Freemantle, “But people around these parts call me Mother Abigail.”  Mother Abigail tells them all to come see her as soon as they can, and to bring along their friends.  The other side of these dreams, however, are guided by Randal Flag.  An instrument of supreme evil, Flag attempts to grab anyone he can with promises of everything they could ever want as long as they follow him without question.  When I first became familiar with the story, I couldn’t decide fully if Flag was actually the Devil or if he was simply a demon – but all evidence that I can see points to him being the actual Devil.  He’s even called “His Infernal Majesty” by a character at one point, which was one of the things that solidified my opinion on this matter. 

Anyway, the characters begin to split between Boulder and Las Vegas, and prepare to face off.  Mother Abigail is self-proclaimed to be in touch with God, and it does appear that she is as she is well aware that the survivors are heading toward Hemingford Home to meet her and continue on to Boulder.  Throughout the movie, God guides the ‘good’ side through Mother Abigail, and Flag guides the side of the wicked.  The good guys do absolutely everything they can do to stop the evil that is leashed upon them, ending in the final Stand between a few of the Boulder friends who have traveled into Nevada unarmed and without anything but the clothes on their backs.  After they are captured, there is a particularly wonderful conversation between Flag and Glen Bateman (an elderly painter, one of the good guys) where the old man shows his loyalty to mankind and laughs in the devils face – this old dude sure had some stones!  There’s several references to both pop culture (Rolling Stones, anyone?) and more than one reference to the Bible (pride cometh before the fall, Stuart!!!), and both are weaved throughout this tale to punctuate the story and give it some reality where there is much mysticism.  I won’t tell you how the story ends, but I will say again that this is one absolutely epic tale that should definitely not be missed by anyone who is a fan of horror.  Even if you don’t believe in the Christianity theology, this story is one that can be appreciated and admired – and the conception of a plague being the catalyst to the end of the world as we know it is simply genius.

 

And the review.  I’ll start with the cast – what an absolutely brilliant lineup!  Gary Sinise, Molly Ringwald, Jamey Sheridan, Ruby Dee, Miguel Ferrer, Corin Nemec, Matt Frewer, Adam Storke, Ray Walston, Rob Lowe, and more…it may not be an ‘all star’ cast, but every single part was played beautifully by the actors and it is clear to me that they were all invested in the story and wanted to make Mr. King proud.  The cinematography is smooth, and though it is definitely not blu-ray quality, the shots are clean and there isn’t inappropriate camera-shaking or anything that makes the viewer feel as though they are spinning around on a carnival ride.  Obviously everyone is already aware of my feelings on this epic plot, so no need to go there.  I will say that I thought the ending scene was particularly cheesy, as I don’t know anyone (especially anyone with world-saving capabilities) is going to wave and make gestures at a baby that clearly has her eyes closed.  C’mon now.  That could’ve been done better, especially after the build up and climax of this story.  But I guess if that is my only complaint concerning the film, then I’ll live.  The soundtrack is alright, but sometimes not particularly memorable.  The story is what matters here.  What are the stats on this, you ask?  Here we go:  How many deaths?  Well…the world, for the most part, so that is pretty intense!  But as for the core group?  A whopping seven (possibly eight, I might have missed one in there) of them bite it during the course of the film.  Killers?  About eight, if you count the men who spread the disease in the first place.  So this was pretty even with the amount of core deaths in this one.  Boobs?  None, but there are some pretty racy scenes so you probably want to screen this yourself before the kiddos watch.  Cheap Thrills?  None.  Actual thrills?  Around four.  But honestly it’s chilling to see all the dead bodies in stores, churches, and lined up on the highway throughout the films entirety.  Buckle up, fiends.  Raven’s Scream Meter says?  Five out of five Screams.  While it isn’t a movie the whole family can get down with (or maybe it is, depending on your family!), this is absolutely one of the better horror films made. Thanks again for reading my fiends, and please keep on the lookout for more movies based on King's work on the mad scientists review table this week!  xx  ~ Raven

Raven's Top Ten Teen Screams

     Things that go bump in the night. Creepies, crawlies, and all the nasty things you dream about but never thought you’d see in the light of day.  That’s what this list is all about, my fiends.  People always love top ten lists, and whether or not you have the same sensibilities as I do is definitely going to factor in to whether or not you feel these movies are appropriate for your teen (or any child).  I would also think the maturity level of your children would come into play at this point.  I find that if you have to question if they should watch something, they probably shouldn’t.  But I digress.  This is my list of the top ten best horror flicks to watch with your teen (or to let you teen rent/watch).      

10.  An American Werewolf in London (1981) – This film is pretty innocent when it comes to horror, and is also on the lighter side.  Most families would find the majority of the film funny I would imagine, and there is very little in the way of gore (and no sex, and almost no swearing even).  It also happens to be a classic, and I’ve even already reviewed it here in Ravens Reviews.  The film is still wonderful and definitely part of my personal collection. 

9.  The Craft (1996) – Though it isn’t an absolutely accurate homage to the wiccan/pagan community, The Craft was the Bewitched of my generation.  The movie did try to portray a more modern view of witchcraft, even including games I’ve actually played myself such as “Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board.”  Pretty tame for a horror film, however, The Craft is more of a fun witchy romp than a bloodbath.  Still, with the newer effects and soundtrack, your teen should have a wicked good time watching this one.

8.  The Ring (2002) – I found this film upon initial view to be incredibly effective, but that could have been due to the fact that I had no idea that what my friends put on was a horror film.  In either case, The Ring is still pretty fun to watch, with its creepy blue filtered lighting and its modern plot about a cursed/evil videotape, this is definitely a creeptastic film that you can pop on with your teens in the room – and most likely everyone will enjoy!

7.  Candyman (1992) – Candyman, candyman, candyman!  This is one of the first horror movies I was allowed to watch, and I have to say it definitely gave me the spooks.  Barely if any nudity again, but there is much violence and possible severe language in this particular flick.  Even if there isn’t too much, and you feel your teen is mature enough for this one, you have to admit that Tony Todd’s performance is chilling and perfect for the role – and that this is perhaps one of the more horrific films on this particular list.

6.  Carrie (2013) – I know this movie has been redone for practically every generation – and the reason for that of corpse is because special effects just keep getting better, and this story is one that should always be fresh to resonate with the current teens that will be watching it. In FX we trust. This is one that actually has a moral to it, and that is not to judge a book by its cover.  The tale itself is definitely geared toward the teenage generation, and is set in high school.  Both parents and their teens will enjoy this new Carrie, as the acting is superb and the cinematography is beautiful. 

5.  Halloween (1978) –  This is the first of all the movies listed to have any nudity (I don’t believe it is terribly often at all, however, which is why I think this one is ok for teens).  But again there’s little to no strong language in the film – though this one is also quite brutal in nature (but hey, it’s horror and that’s kind of the point!).  I do think most teenagers are capable of handling this film but by all means feel free to pre-watch before allowing your children to view.  It’s a classic, and is on television almost every year during the fall with most of anything ‘unfriendly’ cut from it, so you can also go that route if you wish. 

4.  Ginger Snaps (2000) – “I can’t have a hairy chest, B, that’s fucked!”  Ok so this one might have some strong language and graphic content – there isn’t much in the way of horror that doesn’t – but Ginger Snaps is one of my favorite werewolf films and I just had to include it on my list of the top teen horror films.  Based on a pair of sisters going through some ‘changes,’ this frightful fest boasts some great cinematography and truly horrific scenes that the whole family can enjoy (teens and up of corpse). 

3.  Night of the Living Dead (1968) – This is a classic horror film that can definitely be viewed by most of the family, but I will say that the black and white version may be a bit too ‘old’ for your kids so you might want to check with them and see if it piques their interest before popping it in (there’s a color version done by Savini that I’m particularly fond of, if the black and white turns them off).  If your child is already into horror, chances are you already let them check this film out LONG before teenager-time anyway…but if you haven’t and they are this is a perfect movie to share, especially with the current zombie craze.  Romero has been known as one of the masters of the horror genre, zombies being his specialty.  Even if your teen thinks its old they should, especially if they are into this genre, give it a watch at the very least out of respect.  At the very most, they’ll know what most of the jokes in other zombie movies are referencing (Shaun of the Dead, anyone?).

2.  Scream (1996) – “What do you want?” “To see what your insides look like.”  My number two on the top ten list of teen screams is Wes Craven’s Scream.  A (now) classic slasher flick, Scream was one of the better horror movies that came out in the 90s.  Plenty of ingenuity and brass, Scream is definitely horror geared toward teens and even adults can watch and enjoy.  You can see a more detailed review of this film in Ravens Reviews. 

1.  The Shining (1980) – I’ll say this, I could literally put just about any Stephen King based film on this list – I think most of his books (made into films), if not all, are appropriate for teens to watch as well as adults.  That being said, if you need a place to start and have absolutely no clue which film based on his books your teen might be into – this particular creep show focuses our attention on a haunted hotel.  Plenty of spooks, madness, and blood for everyone.

Honorable Mentions Include:

House at the End of the Road

Fright Night

Phantasm

So that is my current top ten list of teen horror films.  It was actually much more difficult than I thought it would be to fashion this list, so I hope that you all can concur with it or at least can grab a couple of the choices off this list for your family to enjoy.  Thank you as always for reading, and stay tuned for more from Raven’s Reviews! 

Hansel and Gretel Get Baked (2013)

       Happy Friday fiends!  I’m pleased that I’ve been able to review these horror films this week for you, and hope you’ve been entertained thus far.  My final teen scream this week I chose because I figured it would be funny based on its title: Hansel and Gretel Get Baked.  Filmed in 2013 and directed by Duane Journey, this movie begins innocently enough in a small town that could literally be almost anywhere in America. 

Hansel and Gretel are of course brother and sister, and Gretel has a passion for the purple sticky punch.  Her boyfriend scores a bag of bud called “Black Forest” and mentions it’s grown by a ‘sweet little old lady’ in her basement.  The two of them enjoy a toke and then get the munchies, but while Gretel is making up some cookies her boyfriend decides to go get some more weed.  He goes to the sweet old lady’s house, and she complies, but when he asks to eat her gingerbread house she firmly tells him to keep his paws off it.  As soon as she leaves the room he takes the opportunity to take quite a large chunk off of the house, and notices that there are a ton of ID cards and passports shoved inside it.  He immediately becomes woozy, and wakes up tied to a table getting a buttery spread applied to his torso. 

The old woman claims to have the munchies, and proceeds to chop off this kid’s limbs and cook them and eat them right in front of him (only she removed one of his eyes and ate it raw because he said he didn’t want to watch).  This excellently wicked beginning actually surprised me due to this being a rendition of a children’s classic that, based on the title, should be slightly humorous.  Only there isn’t much humorous about getting flayed and chopped up slowly, and eaten by a wicked witch – or is there?

            The show goes on, and Gretel begins the search for her boyfriend.  She knows the old woman is fishy, but no one is taking her seriously until another girl’s boyfriend goes missing.  The two of them head to the old woman’s house (who by now is a not-so-old woman), and attempt to break and enter.  From here, everything unravels and the witch can’t seem to catch a break with all the people that show up at her door.  With zombies, cats, an awesome Doberman, fire, and plenty of gore – this movie is full of fun surprises and brings a new (somewhat eccentric) twist to an old favorite.  The final scene is of corpse one we would expect of the classic fairy tale, the witch gets tossed into her own oven and burns alive. 

            The soundtrack is probably the biggest downfall of this film, as the music is mostly cheesy and if it wasn’t unbearably cheesy it was unmemorable.  The cinematography was decent, and the makeup effects were done well.  Although this is not an intellectual teaser in any way, it definitely is a fun and witchy romp which is something I always enjoy.  Plus, the death count alone is enough to make a horror fan feel all tingly inside.  So here come the stats:  Body count? Ten.  Number of killers?  Two (or three if you count both Hansel and Gretel as killers).  Boob count?  None, though sex is brought up in the film – but mostly as a subject of cruelty or as a joke.  Cheap thrills?  None.  Actual thrills?  At least one, maybe two.  Raven’s Scream Meter says?  3 out of 5 screams.  Definitely decent for a young adult film and was clever enough to make me laugh a few times.  All in all, I think the moral of the story is – when a sweet lady selling you pot tells you to keep your hands off her gingerbread house, you don’t destroy your connection by opposing her will after she has already puffed you down.  Because not only will you lose that connection…she might also eat you up and make you watch while she does it. 

House at the End of the Street (2012)

        I chose House at the End of the Street because, and I’ll admit this isn’t the most wonderful reason to choose a movie but I won’t lie to my fiends, Netflix suggested I might like it.  But then again Netflix usually does have a good idea of what I like to watch. Anywho, I tuned in and was immediately sucked in by the casting of Elizabeth Shue and Jennifer Lawrence as mother-daughter.  I love both of them as actresses and it was great to see them on screen together.  As the film begins, we see that the two of them have just moved into a new home in the sticks (right near a state park) from Chicago.  Mrs. Cassidy makes mention that the only reason they can even afford to rent the home is because of the murders that occurred in the house at the end of the street, where a 13 year old girl with brain damage murdered both of her parents one night. 

            The neighbors concur with the story and wish that the last family member (a young boy named Ryan, portrayed by Max Thieriot) would move and that the house would be torn down.  Alyssa gets to know the kids in the neighborhood and finds that they aren’t really her crowd, but when she meets Ryan the two of them hit it off really well – and she even finds a band and a few kids from school to be friends with.  No one is very comfortable with Alyssa’s relationship with Ryan, her mother and friends all seem to react very negatively about him.  The only person that seems to give Ryan a break besides Alyssa is the sheriff of their town, who thinks Ryan is a good kid that fell on hard times.  The question of whether or not his sister Carrie-Anne still lives in the woods haunts the teens in the area, and probably a few of the adults - yet no one knows the haunting truth that she is alive and well in Ryan’s care. 

            Even with Mrs. Cassidy’s strict warning that her daughter and Ryan shouldn’t be alone together, Alyssa continues developing her relationship with Ryan behind her mothers back.  Their relationship grows more and more intimate, and culminates in Alyssa almost getting herself killed.  Ryan is pretty much a heart-throb and it’s really easy to not only like but also feel sorry for his character.  I’ll let you decide if that’s wise or not.  The cinematography and plot are both wonderful, I’d say my least favorite thing about the film was the music.  Jennifer Lawrence sings through a lot of the film and to be honest she sounds very Fiona/Joss Stone and it’s sort of boring.  But aside from that, which really has a small part in the film, I thoroughly enjoyed myself watching this one.  How many bite the dust?  Five or so during the course of the film, but how many the killer has actually killed is probably much more.  Number of killers?  One.  Boobs?  None.  Cheap Thrills?  None.  Actual creeps given?  A couple, actually.  Raven’s Scream Meter Says:  4 out of 5 screams.  Definitely worth a watch, if you don’t mind thrillers that are not particularly gory.  Can definitely be watched with or by teens. 

Hells Gate 11:11 (2004)

       Hello and welcome to Wednesday!  I trust you all have been staying spooky this week, and we’ve made it to yet another glorious ‘hump day.’  But it’s always spooky day for this girl.  Anyway, I was drawn to the next film of this week because of the title: Hells Gate: 11:11.  Created in 2004 by director Michael Bafaro, this film’s title recognizes the eleven-eleven phenomena that my friends and I have been pretty much obsessed with since we heard of it so many years ago (the number is supposed to be magical or supernatural in nature).  I always notice the clock when its 11:11, and sometimes (ok more often than not when I notice…) I make a wish.  Anyway, I digress. The film begins with a young girl facing her parents murders, and then watching as the men who murdered her mother and father are killed by thin air (though it has already been alluded to that the girl can see spirits).  As the movie progresses, we realize that the girl (Sarah) is seeing her dead mother in spirit form, and her mother is trying to warn her about the coming apocalypse.  I have to admit that they sort of lose me with the very idea of an apocalypse all fire and brimstone, but the ghost angle of the plot is definitely intriguing.  Sarah’s ESP also draws you in and makes you want to know what is going on. 

What is going on is that a very angry spirit has been hanging around Sarah in the guise of a friend, and killing everyone around her (or making them kill themselves).  Sarah strikes a deal with the spirit to avoid it killing off her lover, though the way the scene ends it is actually unclear as to whether or not he lives.  And to be honest, that was sort of how I felt about the entirety of this film – a little confused.  It seemed to have all the right elements to draw viewers in, only the plot itself doesn’t come full circle or even make sense.  The guise was that all this had to do with some portend of a new dawn of man or the end of the world – but in the end the girls go off together as children to play.  What that had to do with 11:11 or the apocalypse, I’m not sure. 

This is definitely a lower-budget film, or at least the cinematography and unknown cast makes it feel that way.  The soundtrack was not memorable either, so when one tops that off with a plot that doesn’t seem to have a complete thought one gets…this film.  Probably the worst aspect of the film was Laura Mennell’s acting.  Just because her character Sarah is troubled and has some wickedly strong ESP doesn’t mean she should constantly look like someone let loose a really rank fart all the time.  She was constantly looking furtive, worried, and disgusted, and the acting ruined the character for me completely.  But hey…my reviews can’t all be good, now can they?  Here are the stats:  Body count?  Seven or so.  Number of killers?  Three.  Boob count?  Zero.  Cheap thrills?  Two.  Actual spooks endured?  Zero.  Raven’s Scream Meter says: 1 out of 5 screams.  This isn’t one I’ll be adding to my collection any time soon, but if you can make some sense of it please feel free to explain it to me!