Stitches (2012)

            Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me.  Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me.  Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me.  Stitches, the horror comedy directed in 2012 by Conor McMahon, begins in typical horror fashion…ok maybe not.  It begins with a clown (in makeup, even) screwing some girl in a trailer while she yells expletives.  He realizes he’s late, tosses the wench aside, and runs to a young boy’s birthday party to perform as the clown.  While he is there, the kids are particularly nasty to him and they wind up accidentally killing the clown…which is a very bloody (but funny gory, not scary gory).  Six years after the incident, Tom (who is more a teen now instead of a child) is on anti-anxiety medication, and seeing clown faces in his breakfast platters.  In other words, he’s kind of a mess when we catch back up with him.

            The rest of the film is based on revenge, with the clown coming back to seek it on the bratty kids that killed him during the party six years ago.  This film is sort of an American Pie meets It, which is an unlikely combination.  No matter how silly the gore in this, I will never be a huge fan of clowns.  Anyway, the kid’s mom is out of town for his birthday weekend and, of corpse, he tries to throw a party with three people and winds up with an e-vite sent to the entire school.  Stitches arrives as the party is heating up, and begins taking out every single one of the kids that were at the party.  Most of the kills during the party are not very original, though many of them are deliciously gory (and still funny).  The party ends as people begin realizing the killer clown talk is for real.  Tom figures out that if they break Stitches’ egg, they may free his spirit and he might disappear.  They race time and the clown to the graveyard where the clown and his egg are buried. 

            The cinematography is done nicely, the soundtrack is decent (though not exactly memorable), and the acting is fair.  I enjoy the British so the thick accents and people calling each other crass things throughout the movie brought a smile to my face.  After much shenanigans, threats, and running around, Tom’s theory proves to be valid and the clown is no more.  The only thing (besides that this was a comedy when I would have preferred this be a straight up slasher clown film) that bugged me about the film was when the clown kills the cat.  The cat?  Really?  What for?  Anywho, it was a fun-filled and funny romp with jokes galore, a real scream for you clown-lovers out there.  Number of deaths?  I counted five in total.  Number of Killers?  One.  Boob count? .5, you only see one, not even a full set, so I don’t count this as a full flash.  Cheap thrills? None.  Actual chills? None.  This is much more a comedy than it is a horror film.  Raven’s Scream Meter says 2.5 out of 5 Screams.  Silly and sardonic, the film is an unlikely mix of horror and comedy that may leave you in stitches.  I hope you enjoyed the review, and as always thank you for reading!  Xx ~ Raven