The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

            Our second flick for Maniac Monday is The Cabin in the Woods, directed by Drew Goddard in 2012.  I have heard many great things about this film and yet had not bothered to give it a shot until now, and I have to say that I was really stoked on it within the first five minutes because of all the great actors and actresses I recognized immediately.  My recognition of a few of them made a hell of a lot more sense when I realized that Joss Whedon wrote some of the script for this film, as two of the actors I recognized immediately were from his short-lived but awesome show Dollhouse.

            Aside from my obvious admiration of the cast, that also includes actors from Six Feet Under and Billy Madison, the movie kicks off most interestingly with a group of kids going on vacation to…you guessed it…a cabin in the woods.  One of the first things they notice about the house is that one of the mirrors is a two-way mirror that allows one room to see into the other, much like a police investigation mirror.  We also discover that there is a business watching these kids in the cabin, and they are setting them up for a very frightening time, even betting on what evil the kids in the house will release (and, we find, this isn’t the only terror show they are watching).  I will be honest, when the chick makes out with the taxidermy wolf head, I’m not only bored but I’m also confused as to how that moves the plot forward in any way.

            After the small peep show, the gore begins.  We already knew that zombies were on their way to the cabin, since one of the idiot teens read some Latin passages aloud (like this is ever a good thing when you and friends find a creepy book in a cabin in the middle of nowhere), and the zombies begin attacking in earnest at this point.  Compared with my last manic flick, the cinematography in this is absolutely stunning and the acting is much more convincing.  I about died laughing (pun intended) when the zombie threw the girl’s decapitated head at her friend.  The kids get out of the cabin and into the RV after a couple of not-so-gory deaths, and at the same time the Japanese cameras they were watching are also in the process of defeating the evil they are supposed to be consumed by.  Just as viewers think the kids escape in the RV, the still-unnamed company makes the only way out (a tunnel) collapse.  One of the survivors attempts to jump the blown tunnel on a bike, but there is clearly some kind of grid that he literally runs into seemingly in the middle of thin air. 

            Much of the gore in this fright fest is either somewhat lacking, or done with CGI, so I can’t say it’s one of my favorites because of this.  The plot is also lacking, with the premise being that the ‘company’ works for evil gods who will destroy the world if they do not get the sacrifices they are supposedly satiated by.  They don’t, and the world ends, so literally EVERYONE dies in this film (which is admittedly cool).  Talk about your unhappy endings.  There is a slight nod to the great Clive Barker I noticed, with the ‘demon’ that has saw blades through his pale, bald head, and who is called by a round toy trinket (hello Hellraiser!).  I will also say that the NIN playing at the end of the movie definitely punctuated the end of the world, so that was well done.  Body Count?  Everyone on Earth.  Number of Killers?  Too many to count.  Boob Count? One.  Cheap Thrills?  One.  Actual spooks endured?  None.  Raven’s Scream Meter says 3 out of 5 Screams.  Though there is plenty of violent content, I would have appreciated more innovative gore and less CGI.  Still will be a movie gracing the shelves of my horror collection!  I hope you enjoyed your second review for this Maniac Monday, and thanks again for reading! Xx ~ Raven