Tales from the Darkside (1990)

John Harrison’s Tales from the Darkside (1990) was one of my favorite horror films as a child because of the way the story is set up.  In this film, there is what is called a wraparound story, which is about a witch (Debbie Harry) who is preparing to cook a little boy named Timmy (Mathew Lawrence) for a dinner party.  She has him chained in her kitchen and has been feeding him cookies to try and fatten him up.  She must be somewhat kindhearted for a witch, though, as she gives Timmy a book to read.  In order to stall his impending death, Timmy begins to read these tales to her as she prepares the stuffing and preheats the oven. Very appropriate to the season, yes?  Anywho, Timmy tells three stories from the book:  “Lot 249,” “Cat from Hell,” and “Lover’s Vow,” each with its own set of actors, scenery, and plot.

Out of the three tales told, “Lot 249” is probably my favorite.  About a guy named Edward Bellingham (Steve Buscemi), and his college peer Andy (Christian Slater).  I won’t name everyone in each piece because that would take up entirely too much time.  Anyway Andy’s sister frames Bellingham so he gets screwed out of a summer scholarship, so he orders a mummy.  The mummy also comes with a scroll that enables Bellingham to control it, so Bellingham naturally exacts revenge against Andy’s sister and her jerk of a boyfriend.  All in all it had a great cast and even a few moments that were legitimately gory.  The second tale, “Cat from Hell,” is about a man named Drogan (William Hickey) who cannot get rid of this cat that keeps killing the people that live with him.  Drogan believes the cat has come from hell to seek revenge against him because his pharmaceutical company killed over 5,000 cats by testing their products on them.  Drogan hires a hit man, Halston (David Johansen) to take on the evil beast.  On a side note, Drogan’s sister Carolyn must have been a partier because when she dies, viewers can see a hookah sitting next to her bed.  All in all this was a great story too, and the final scenes with the cat are pretty rad.  Finally, “Lover’s Vow” is a story about failing artist Preston (James Remar) who watches a gargoyle murder a bartender one night.  The gargoyle offers his life in exchange for a vow of silence.  Immediately after the vow, Preston runs into a beautiful woman and his life begins to change.  After ten years of marriage to Carola, and two children, Preston breaks his vow and all hell breaks loose. 

All of these tales are worth watching, even though the wraparound story has somewhat of a hokey finale.  The cast is full of good actors and actresses, and the score is decent as well.  I also like that there’s essentially four stories happening in the film, it gives it a refreshing twist that sets it apart from other films from that year.  In efforts to consolidate, I added all the killers and such together for my tallies.  Number of killers?  Seven.  Body count?  11.  Boob count?  One.  Cheap thrills?  Three.  Actual spooks endured?  Six.  Raven’s Scream Meter says:  3.5 out of 5 Screams.  Definitely worth a watch, as there are some good performances and nice gore scenes.