Darin Scott’s “Dark House” (2009) actually surprised the hell out of me as one of the better horror films I got to check out this year. The story begins with your typical childhood prank of going into the ‘haunted’ or ‘creepy house,’ but the normal aspects of this film end there. Immediately upon entering the house, the little girl stumbles across a massacre. Children’s bodies lay scattered around the house in pools of blood, and just when you think that has to be the last one, two more pop up on screen. Basically, any movie that begins with seven dead and one in the midst of suicide, I sit up and pay attention. This directing/writing team knew exactly how to capture their audience. Of course, what else would one expect from Fangoria.
After the initial bloodbath, the audience gets a slight break from the horror to get to know the characters. Meghan Ory’s character Claire is now in college, and apparently has been struggling since the day the massacre went down to put the images of all the dead children behind her. Her therapist keeps telling her to go back to the scene of the crime so she can overcome her fear, but she has yet to have the courage to actually enter the old house. Suddenly, a weird old guy winds up inviting her entire acting class to partake as actors for his new attraction – a haunted house inside the residence where the crimes occurred. Claire, seeing an opportunity to enter the house without fear, persuades the others to take the opportunity. When the group enters the house and takes the tour, they find one of the coolest haunted houses (technologically speaking) that money can buy. The attractions are very realistic because they are holograms, and these holograms are stationed all over the house. Oh…and they are triggered both by fear and excitement. Wicked.
So the weird old guy has a couple of guests come to the Dark House to participate in it’s initial run through of thrills and chills, and here is where things get wacky. Apparently Ms. Darrode (portrayed excellently by Diane Salinger), the old woman who ran the children’s home in the house, well…her spirit remained there for the last decade and a half, and she was just waiting for Claire to come back so she could take her out and go to heaven (she wasn’t just insane, she was also fanatical about religion). I am proud to say that what follows are perhaps not the most ingenious killings in a horror film ever – but there are plenty of killings and they are all done well. I guess I’d say if there was one thing I truly didn’t notice much in the film, it was the soundtrack. But there was so much blood that if the soundtrack was bad, the blood makes up for it. My favorite line? When discussing Claire being bat shit crazy, a cop says she: “Developed more bugs than Windows Vista.” Haha! Number of killers? Technically, one. If you count the holograms, there’s over seven. Body count? 21. Boob count? Zero. Cheap thrills? Two. Actual spooks endured? Three. Entertainment? Fuckin a! Raven’s Scream Meter says: 4 out of 5 Screams. Definitely worth a watch – particularly if you like either lots of blood or haunted house tales. Oh, and one of the characters isn’t who you think they are, leaving you with a surprise ending. That I’ll keep a surprise.
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